Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Snap Judgements: 2012-2013 
ABC TV Schedule

ABC has been the home of such hits/personal favs including Happy Endings, Lost, Revenge, and Alias as well as imaginative, original (see: unfortunately, cancelled quickly) fare like Better Off Ted, Pushing Daisies, and Eli Stone. Having said that (in Larry David tone of voice), this only furthers the point that ABC seems to play it safe this year with the upcoming slate of new shows. (And, no, this isn't solely because the network decided to move Cougar Town to a new network and cancel GCB.)

PS Totally called the decision to move Revenge to the Sunday at 9pm slot. Here's hoping it can survive in that crowded Sunday schedule.

So without further ado, please find the 2012 ABC Fall Schedule below. Bold denotes a new show and their accompanying trailer/snap judgement can be found after the grid.

8PM 8:30PM 9PM 9:30PM 10PM 10:30PM
MONDAY DANCING WITH THE STARS                            CASTLE            
SATURDAY SATURDAY NIGHT COLLEGE FOOTBALL                                                            
THE NEIGHBORS (Wednesdays at 9:30pm)
From the network that brought you Cavemen and last year's Work It, comes this 'comedy' about a family who moves into a new neighborhood and discovers that they have aliens (and not even the kind that would frighten Bill O'Reilly) for neighbors. (Couldn't we just have rebooted Alf or even have SNL do a new Coneheads sketch instead?) Keep in mind, this show got the plum post-Modern Family timeslot. Overall Anticipation Meter: Nah, thanks

NASHVILLE (Wednesdays at 10pm)
This drama about an aging country star (Connie Britton) and the rising new sensation (Hayden Panettiere) who clash over headlining an upcoming tour together seems tailor(-Swift)-made for middle America. Not my thing. Overall Anticipation Meter: Nah, thanks

LAST RESORT (Thursdays at 8pm)
Andre Braugher and Scott Speedman headline this drama about the USS Colorado, who after ignoring a suspect order to fire nuclear missiles, become hunted by their own government. The sub seeks refuge at an exotic island NATO outpost in order to clear their names and figure out the (most likely) giant government conspiracy. ABC's freshest concept, but curious to see how it is executed/how many songs from South Pacific the crew will end up singing while waiting in their exotic locale. Overall Anticipation Meter: Moderate

MALIBU COUNTRY (Fridays at 8:30pm)
Should have been called Reba Redux. People love them some Reba McEntire. I'm sure that trend will continue with her upcoming, new multi-cam comedy about a woman (guess what her name is) who moves her entire family to Malibu from Nashville (probably as not to compete with Hayden P. either) after she discovers her husband's philandering ways. Living legend Lily Tomlin plays Reba's mother and Sara Rue portrays the overly Californian (sadly no scenes of her mentioning alternate driving routes just yet) neighbor and I hear they are tied for scene-stealing. Another safe, perfectly decent choice but not my thing. Overall Anticipation Meter: Nah, thanks

666 PARK AVENUE (Sundays at 10pm)
This who's who of former ABC stars (Terry O'Quinn from Lost, Vanessa Williams from Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives, Dave Annable from Brothers & Sisters, and Rachael Taylor from Grey's Anatomy and Charlie's Angels) looks like it is trying to be in the vein of (a network friendly) American Horror Story. A young couple (Annable and Taylor) takes on the job as managers of The Drake, one of NYC's historic apartment buildings, and slowly uncover supernatural happenings. Show could have longevity if they build around the episodic Twilight Zone formula since their are 80 guests in the building. Prediction: In the series finale, they finally pick up and phone to call those goshdarned Ghostbusters. Overall Anticipation Meter: Moderate

HOW TO LIVE WITH YOUR PARENTS (FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE) (Tuesdays starting in January at 8pm)
Or HTLWYP(FTROYL) for short... The eternally charming Sarah Chalke is a single mom who moves back in with her parents (Weeds' Elizabeth Perkins and Everybody Loves Raymond's Brad Garrett). Another trailer that just kind of is there. I did chuckle at one exchange, mostly because of Chalke's delivery: Mom- "You're driving me crazy." Daughter- "Get out of the car. You've arrived." Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

THE FAMILY TOOLS (Tuesdays starting in January at 8:30pm)
Kyle Bornheimer, a great every-man comedy lead, cannot seem to catch a break. He has headlined the now defunct One Week, Perfect Couples, and Romantically Challenged. I have a feeling that The Family Tools (no longer titled the creepy sounding Red Van Man, fortunately) will be added to that list. This adaptation of a British format follows a son who must come home to take over his father's (the always awesome J.K. Simmons) handyman business. Oh, I think I just got the new title now.  Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

RED WIDOW (Midseason)
Following the success of this summer's The Avengers comes this TV adaptation of Scar Jo's Black Widow. She made a few bad investment decisions and is now in the 'red.' Get it?... Just kidding. Instead, we get this Dutch format about a wife he must work in her recently deceased husband's crime syndicate to protect her family from the higher ups. Cross-network-over Potential: The Red Widow is thinking that her fellow criminals could use someone with medical knowledge so she takes on internship with The Mob Doctor. Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

ZERO HOUR (Midseason) 
Sprawling, Da Vinci Code-looking mystery in which Anthony Edwards must uncover clues to (no, not find out what happened to his career, but rather) save his abducted wife. In turn, he also discovers (as the press release states) 'one of the most compelling conspiracies in human history.' I'm sensing Andy Samberg might now want to stick around on SNL just to do a new 'Get in the Cage' on Weekend Update... Overall Anticipation Meter: Moderate

MISTRESSES (Summer 2013)
This American adaptation of a BBC hit follows a group of 4 women (including Alyssa Milano and Yunjin Kim) who are either being cheated on or doing the cheating. I didn't find the trailer particularly anything. Not necessarily sexy, envelope pushing, or original. Overall Anticipation Meter:Nah, thanks

What do you think of all the new ABC shows? Was I too harsh? Which are you most looking forward to watching?

Monday, May 14, 2012

Snap Judgements: 2012-2013 
FOX TV Schedule

The number 1 network (in the 18-49 demo) announced that they would only be picking up only 5 new shows (3 comedies and 2 dramas) this upcoming season. Sadly, this meant the end for Breaking In and, less sadly, for Alcatraz, Terra Nova, and I Hate My Teenage Daughter. FOX is also getting into the arena with the placement of their own 4 comedy night line-up meaning Glee is getting moved to Thursdays at 9pm. I'm just pleased our universe gets a 5th, final season of Fringe.

So without further ado, please find the 2012 FOX Fall Schedule below. Bold denotes a new show and their accompanying trailer/snap judgement can be found after the grid.

8PM 8:30PM 9PM 9:30PM
WEDNESDAY THE X FACTOR                                                   
FRIDAY TOUCH                      FRINGE               
SATURDAY REPEATS                                                                                                            
THE MOB DOCTOR (Mondays at 9pm)
Judging from the title would any of you like to guess what this Jordana Spiro-led drama is about? No, not an MD who only fixes people injured in flash mobs, but rather a woman indebted to the mob must moonlight as a, well, mob doctor. Overall Anticipation Meter: Nah, thanks

BEN AND KATE (Tuesdays at 8:30pm)
The only new FOX show that doesn't begin a 'The' features a dependent brother-sister duo after Ben moves in with this sis to help her take care of her child. The comedy feels slightly forced and not super fresh. Best part of the trailer: the usually funny Lucy Punch.  Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

THE MINDY PROJECT (Tuesdays at 9:30pm)
The Office's loss is FOX's gain as Mindy Kaling stars in this wonderfully cast comedy about a young doctor navigating both her personal and professional lives. Kind of a bland premise, but looks fairly funny and boasting such talent as Chris Messina and Anna Camp. The pilot even has Bill Hader and Ed Helms guest starring. Who knows which of her other famous friends she might call on for November sweeps? Overall Anticipation Meter: Very!


Scott Foley (Felicity, upcoming season of True Blood) and Becki Newton (Ugly Betty) return to TV in this surprisingly funny look at what happens when 3 estranged siblings (and one other dude) must participate in a series of competitions to win their deceased father's millions. Feels similar to Arrested Development in tone. Overall Anticipation Meter: Very!

Kevin Reilly considers this show from exec producer Kevin Williamson following Kevin Bacon tracking down an escaped serial killer (James Purefoy) 'the next 24.' Might be a slight exaggeration, but the killer cast (hehe) also including Natalie Zea, Shawn Ashmore, and special guest star, Maggie Grace, means this show deserves a look. Copy Cat Complaint: Honestly, looks very reminiscent to a season or two of Dexter. Overall Anticipation Meter: Moderate

What do you think of all the new FOX shows? Which are you most looking forward to watching?
Snap Judgements: 2012-2013 
NBC TV Schedule

Over the weekend, NBC unveiled their 2012-2013 Fall TV Schedule and the official announcements of what had been cancelled/renewed and which new shows will be gracing our screens this fall and spring. And be sure to check out my previous post below (spoiler alert: Now with even more puns!) to see how I matched up with the returning shows.

And without further ado, please find the 2012 NBC Fall Schedule below. Bold denotes a new show and their accompanying trailer/snap judgement can be found after the grid.

8PM 8:30PM 9PM 9:30PM 10PM 10:30PM
MONDAY THE VOICE                                                       REVOLUTION 
SATURDAY REPEATS                                                                                                            
SUNDAY (FALL) NBC SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL                                                                                            

REVOLUTION (Mondays at 10pm)
This JJ Abrams co-produced pilot was definitely the NBC drama I was most hoping would get picked up. And in case you weren't sure this was from the mind of Mr. Abrams, please find in the trailer below the following: plane crash, a cityscape losing power (aka Cloverfield), the need for a new society being built, and a secret mythology. The only thing missing was a predominantly featured 47. Only real complaint: Why would you have the title card look practically identical to NBC's last fast-burning epic series aka Heroes? Fun fact: Jon Favreau directed the expensive-looking pilot about our world 15-years after all electricity disappears. Overall Anticipation Meter: Very!


GO ON (Tuesdays at 9pm)
I was moderately looking forward to this Matthew Perry-led comedy. Then I saw the trailer. And this was the most I laughed during any pilot presentation so far or last year. While appearing to be another starring vehicle for Mr. Perry, I think the show will succeed where Mr. Sunshine didn't if it relies on the ensemble nature of his company mandated death-support group. But will America find March Sadness as funny as I do? We shall see. Overall Anticipation Meter: Very!

THE NEW NORMAL (Tuesdays at 9:30pm)
As the trailer states, 'From the imagination of Ryan Murphy,' can mean pretty much anything. And this trailer doesn't disappoint in that department especially if you are the type of person who has ever wanted to see Ellen Barkin throw down with Nene Leeks. Here's hoping this show about a single mother making money by being a gay couple's surrogate can be based a little bit more in reality than some of Mr. Ryan's previous attempts. Complaint: Lose the Glee-sounding score though heard when the gay couple is first introduced.  Overall Anticipation Meter: Moderate

ANIMAL PRACTICE (Wednesdays at 8pm)
Justin Kirk (after finishing what is expected to be the final season of Weeds) stars in this zany-looking comedy about a veterinarian who understands animals better than humans. Think House meets Doctor Dolittle Complaint: I feel that there are going to be waaaayyy too many jokes involving that ever present monkey from The Hangover. Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

GUYS WITH KIDS (Wednesdays at 8:30pm)
This Jimmy Fallon-produced multi-cam sitcom is about a group of 3 dads (Jesse Bradford, Zach Cregger, Anthony Anderson) and their respective different phases in life. Honestly, looks like they took the Dad Posse from the What to Expect When You're Expecting trailer and gave them a show.
Best part of the trailer: How great Sara Rue looks!  Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

CHICAGO FIRE (Wednesdays at 10pm)
Rescue Me's back on TV? Nope, but it definitely looks like what this Dick Wolfe produced drama is going for. Hot firemen and women (pun intended) look super angsty and fight fires... maybe even with fire. Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

DO NO HARM (Midseason on Sundays at 10pm)
While there is no complete trailer up for this modern day take on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, judging from the clip below, it seems exactly as you would expect.  Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh 

INFAMOUS (Midseason)
A less compelling Revenge on NBC? I'm good. This midseason entry in which an undercover cop disguises herself as a maid in a wealthy family's home to get revenge avenge the manor's heiress/former friend's death. Overall Anticipation Meter: Nah, thanks... except for Victor Garber.

SAVE ME (Midseason)
Anne Heche hears voices from God so she can create miracles in people's lives in this weirdly toned comedy. Besides the last part of the description, I could have sworn this happened to Ms. Heche in real life.    Overall Anticipation Meter: Moderate

1600 PENN (Midseason)
From former Obama White House speechwriter, Jon Lovett, comes this single-camera comedy following the lives of America's First Family. Bill Pullman will play POTUS (which I hear he didn't audition, he just sent in a VHS of Independence Day) with Jenna Elfman playing Mrs. POTUS and Josh Gad as their arsonist son (Hopefully a cross over with Chicago Fire is in the works). Here's hoping that it's better than Comedy Central's That's My Bush!   Overall Anticipation Meter:  Moderate

NEXT CALLER (Midseason)
NBC ordered 6 episodes of this comedy featuring Dane Cook as a man's man, who must now work alongside a feminist co-host (the charming Collette Wolfe) on his radio talk show. Gender insulting high-jinks to ensue!   Overall Anticipation Meter: Eh

HANNIBAL (Midseason)
Bryan Fuller (Wonderfalls, Pushing Daisies) + Hugh Dancy + Classic horror cinema villain = A very high profile show featuring the rise of America's favorite chianti-loving serial killer. No video footage yet. :/   Overall Anticipation Meter: Very!

What do you think of all the new NBC shows? Which are you most looking forward to watching?

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

N(obody's)B(een)C(checking Out) NBC This Year
How to Make Must-See-TV Again

As 30 Rock joked(?) a couple weeks back, NBC "can no longer use the words: hit, great show, fun, or broadcast television." That's certainly not far from the truth for the 4th-placed network which is no longer dominated by Dick Wolf's Law & Order franchise and successful multi-cam comedies (re: Seinfeld and Friends).

This coming season will be former Showtime chief Robert Greenblatt's first full-year overseeing the development slate. (He certainly had some say last year especially with Smash, originally envisioned for Showtime, but now he is fully seated in his current role.) Will this spell the end of some Peacock network programs that began before him to clean house or will NBC continue to remain loyal to the few cult-favs (albeit low-rated) programs?

Let's take a look at the current state of the potentially returning NBC shows:

30 Rock: Returning but for a reduced episode, final season.* This NBC stalwart series will get a final 7th season to give America a chance to say good-bye to the zany (and still Emmy-bait) gang of TGS. Update: Unfortunately, my above assumption was true. I'm usually a fan of being right, but this one stings.

The Apprentice: Returning.* No one self-promotes like The Donald and that's gotta save NBC money somewhere down the road so expect another celebrity edition to return next year. Update: I was correct that once again Trump got re-hired. (See, there's this catchphrase from the show where Donald Trump tells people that either "You're hired," or "You're fired." I was doing a riff on that....)

Are You There, Chelsea?: Not returning.* Best part of the show was Lauren Lapkus, who played the sweet, awkward roomie. Worst part of the show: Everything else ties. NBC will instead keep Chelsea Handler happy (is that even possible?) by renewing her E! talk and scripted After Lately. Update: The answer to that question is, "She is not."

Awake: Not returning.* Sadly, this Inception-inspired twist on a classic cop show will not be returning. However, I'd like to think that in the show's green-world, Awake will continue. Update: Sadly, this show is indeed taking a permanent nap. :/

Betty White's Off Their Rockers: On the fence.* I could definitely see this turning into a summer series since it premiered so strong. And who doesn't want to see old people talking dirty with young people in earshot? Although if that diva Betty White becomes too expensive, SNL showed us that Maya Angelou could make for a great replacement host. Update: Coming back and off-their-rockier than ever.

Bent: Not returning.* Great chemistry between Amanda Peet and David Walton was not enough to save this comedy that NBC burned off over 3 weeks or as I like to refer to it The Free Agents Conundrum. Update: Now officially cancelled, maybe Amanda Peet can do that Studio 60 movie?

Best Friends Forever: Not returning.* Only aired 4 out of the 6 episodes before shelving the remaining 2 for one-night only on Fri, June 1st. Update: Maybe it shoulda been called Best Friends for 4 Weeks?

The Biggest Loser: Returning.* Ratings have been lower than ever especially with the departure of Jillian Michaels, but NBC will not want to let go of this up-lifting show. However, I only predict one cycle next year instead of the traditional two. Update: Sign of NBC shedding weight? I was correct that there will only be one cycle next year.

Community: Returning.* The study-group should be able to see another year at Greendale High thanks to a groundswell of fan support. However, some people are anticipating a reduced episode order aka not the standard 22 episodes a season. Update: Despite being banished to Fridays at 8:30pm and the fate of Dan Harmon's involvement, Community was renewed for 13 eps... for now.

Chuck: Cancelled/Not returning. Ran 5-seasons and was able to end the show on their own terms. Subway certainly was a pronounced sponsor and helped save it from cancellation for quite some time. Hence, it might be interesting to note that the inventor of the $5 foot long is currently showing similar sponsorship to a new NBC cult fav...

Fashion Star: Not returning.* This attempt at bringing the cable-power of Project Runway to broadcast TV may have sold out many of the designs found in stores, but most likely won't return to NBC next year. Also, I'm pretty sure Jessica Simpson's still pregnant and will be outta commission for a 2nd year. Update: NBC decided to bring this show back (to my surprise), however with the caveat that Jessica Simpson change her finally birthed baby's name.

The Firm: Not returning.* NBC has been burning off this show on Saturday nights, which definitely means the end. Also, the show was terribly produced so there's that. Update: NBC was pretty, um, solid on their decision there. (I really feel like I should have been able to find a pun though.)

Free Agents: Cancelled/Not returning. The charming duo of Hank Azaria and Kathryn Hahn was one of the first cancelled shows of the 2011-2012 season. However, I just discovered that the 4 unaired episodes are now available on Hulu.

Grimm: Returning. America will see more fractured, fairy tale crimes but hopefully less really cheesy monster special effects.

Harry's Law: Not returning.* Kathy Bates is a great lead in a perfectly adequate show. However, the only ones who are watching tend to be even older than the very talented Ms. Bates. Update: Officially disbarred.

Law & Order: SVU: Returning.* The only remaining member of the once-dominating L&O franchise should return as it makes a bunch of money from syndication. Update: Officially returning and probably still going to get called Law & Order: SUV by some people.

The Marriage Ref: Not returning.* This show somehow got a short 2nd season reprieve more so not to upset the holy Jerry Seinfeld, but don't expect it to come back. Unless, they take my suggestion and have a permanent panel of Larry David, Madonna, and Ricky Gervais since that was the only actual funny episode. (Mostly due to Gervais and David outright mocking the format.) Update: NBC and the show cited irreconcilable differences.

The Office: Returning.* Even with the departure of Steve Carell last year, the current 8th season is still higher rated than any of NBC's other comedies. Although, nobody's quite sure which of the current cast will return. And then there's that awful matter of the alleged Dwight beet farm spin-off. Update: Officially returning for 22 episodes with all the cast sans Mindy Kaling and James Spader.

The Playboy Club: Cancelled/Not returning. The very first cancelled new show of the current season was unable to procure one of their own sacred keys to unlock the door for a second season, let alone a back-9 episode order.

Parenthood: Returning, but at once again a reduced episode order.* This heart-warming show will most likely get a 4th season as it seems to surge in the ratings at the beginning and ends of the season and the incredibly talented ensemble. Update: Braverhood clan reunites this fall for another 15 episodes.

Parks & Recreation: Returning.* Leslie Knope and company will be returning as it is the only show that has a shot at replacing The Office's primo Thursday, 9pm time slot one day. Some people are speculating on a reduced episode order, but I choose to believe, 'Knope!' Update: We officially will follow the residents of Pawnee for another 22 episodes.

Prime Suspect:  Cancelled/Not returning. Maybe it shoulda been called That Darn Hat! as Maria Bello's feisty fedora seemed to get more exposure at the start of the show than anything else. NBC aired all 13 eps and the show really was starting to find a voice for its lone female NYC detective in a department dominated by men (especially in the super-tension-filled 8th ep titled "Underwater").

Rock Center with Brian Williams: Not returning.* Although, there are few great newscasters than can also be funny (as his many SNL/30 Rock appearances have told us), I have a strong feeling that NBC will have Mr. Williams stick with his day job. Or rather, his other evening job. Update: I was totally wrong on this one. Rock Center is now most definitely returning. Even airing at the 10pm slot on Thursdays. I credit his interview with Marcel the Shell.

Saturday Night Live: Returning.* This classic comedy New York institution will return for a 38th season just in time to comment on the remaining days of the 2012 presidential election. Only real question revolves around the rumor that the current 37th season will be the final one for Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, and, most sadly, Kristen Wiig?

The Sing-Off: On the fence.* I, personally, feel that NBC shouldn't oversaturate their only successful show, The Voice, by having 2 cycles on a year, (Remember when ABC aired Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? on 11 nights of the week?) which is why this slightly different singing-competition show will return in the fall. Update: NBC does want to see subject America to double the chair spinning this year and decided to axe The Sing Off.

Smash: Returning. The super expensive launch of the show hasn't really matched up with ratings expectations, but has massively improved the timeslot versus a year ago. Was already picked up, but I imagine another shorter 15-episode season. My personal hope for the 2nd season is that it lives up to the potential seen occasionally here and there, is smarter, and contains less Leo and Ellis.

Up All Night: On the fence.* I truly hope this hilarious and aww-inducing comedy returns next year. The star power of Christina Applegate, Maya Rudolph, and Will Arnett in front of and the almighty Lorne Michaels behind the camera should be enough to save the show. Update: Woot, woot. Up All Night is the one NBC show whose future was debatable that I am pleased to announce is returning.

The Voice: Returning.* The ratings speak for themselves as this NBC's only actual version of a mass-appealing hit. (I checked with the 30 Rock legal team to double check that I can use 'hit' here.) Update: Except even more chair spinning when The Voice returns in both the fall and spring.

Whitney: Not returning.* The internet seemed to really not like Ms. Cummings' multi-cam sitcom. However, the ratings were better than most of NBC's other critical darlings and it slowly became actually funny in the 2nd half of their season. However, with the recently announced deal of Whitney leading her own half-hour talk show on E! to pair with Chelsea Lately, I feel that Whitney will be no more. And, unfortunately, her new talk show has one less obvious title possibility. Update: The biggest (and weirdly, controversial) surprise pick-up of NBC. I have faith that the show can keep up the funny.

Who Do You Think You Are?: Returning.* A reality show that teaches you about history? Yes, this smart PBS-y show works for NBC on Fridays and is a good prestige for the network. Plus, I can't think of which celebrity wouldn't say 'no' to an all-expenses paid trip to their respective motherlands. Update: Another one I was totally wrong about. WDYTYA? will not be back next year. Here's hoping the season finale with Paula Deen isn't a cliffhanger.

*Based off my many-tv-viewing-years educated/informed opinion

What shows do you most want to return and why? Also, stay tuned for my analysis of which potential new NBC shows are the buzziest.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

It's the Most Wonderful (or Awful) Time of the Year

Hey, so it's been awhile. Did you get a haircut? No. Well, it looks good. And, no, I didn't ask that just so you'd ask me about mine...

But seriously, it's been a couple of months since I last posted here. But, trust me, I have been writing lots of entries during the interim. And they were hilarious. And you loved them. And commented. A lot... In my head.

But even more seriously, I am writing one now so there. 

As the heading suggests, we are approaching what I traditionally refer to as my Christmas (or X-mas if I wanna continue fueling that war we elite bloggers enjoy so much). No, not the impending release (hey, now) of Magic Mike this summer, but instead the Network TV Upfronts.

Some of you might be asking, "What's that?," or probably, more accurately, "People still watch TV?"

Well, we do, and the upfronts are historically when networks announce what their new Fall/Spring TV lineups look like. The viewers at home find out which returning shows are officially picked up for another season (I'm looking at you, Fringe aka a perfectly wrapped present) and which will never see the light of day again (Still waiting on #6seasonsandamovie for Wonderfalls aka a disappointing lump of coal). Also, a new crop of shows are unveiled (even though 70% won't make it to a 2nd year). 

It's essentially an excuse for networks to roll out their current/up-and-coming stars with a fancy power point presentation (the likes of which to rival Al Gore's skillz) to media-buying representatives (re: the Harry Cranes of the world) so they will be convinced to purchase commercial spots for particular programs/time slots up-front. (Ah, I get it.)

Last year, I had the good fortune of coincidentally being in NYC (where the upfronts are held) around this time last year and even snuck into the NBC after-party. More on that another time...
This year, I am not quite as lucky but will cover what I can from my spot on the West Coast even if it's just in the (Nasim Pedrad as) Arianna Huffington-way of "We had great coverage because we copied and pasted it, my little coconuts."

Leading up to the week of May 14th, I will discuss my views on which new shows are the buzziest and allow a forum to dissect which current shows you are rooting for to return or fail.

Upfront Schedule 
Monday, May 14th: NBC Upfronts & FOX Upfronts
Tuesday, May 15th: ABC Upfronts
Wednesday, May 16th: CBS Upfronts
Thursday, May 17th: The CW Upfronts

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Annual List of Academy Award Nominated Films (If Vivid Entertainment Had  Been the Producers)*

Albert’s Knob
War Whore
Midnight in Paris Hilton
Money for Ball Play
My Week in Marilyn
The Teat of Life
The Lady’s Iron Snatch
Reel Steal
Puss in Boots
Super 8
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Favorites from Past Years
The Lovely Bone
Pubic Enemies
It's Cumplicated
Legs Up in the Air
The Breeder
In Her Glorious bASSterd
Winter's Boner
Julie & Julia

Have any inappropriate porn puns for other Oscar nominated movies? Post away!

*Content may be found as immature